


holy work

by hymns



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Hospitalization, M/M, Pre-Canon, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hymns/pseuds/hymns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set after joseph reports sebastian to IAB and before the beacon incident. sebastian's flask remains attached to his hip like his late daughter once was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	holy work

**Author's Note:**

> you love a stone,  
> because it's dark and it's old,  
> and if it could start  
> being alive  
> [you'd stop living alone.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=me9MAS6ShMQ)

It was 2:27 A.M. when Joseph was shocked awake by the ringing of his phone on his nightstand. He accepted the call as he reached for his glasses with the other hand, crookedly positioning them on the bridge of his nose as he murmured a quiet, "Joseph Oda, KCPD..."

"Detective Oda? This is Park Ridge Medical Aid. We currently have Sebastian Castellanos in our care."

Every word the woman on the other line said made his mind shift in countless different directions, thinking it may have been related to a case, but Park Ridge was too familiar. Her last words immediately made him break into a cold sweat. Sebastian lived in Park Ridge. If he was hurt on an emergency call, he would have been taken to the larger, more central Krimson Hospital. Something had to have happened at or near his home.

"Are you there, Detective?"

"Y-Yes, sorry. Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine." _Will_ be fine. "Could―"

"What happened? Can I come visit him?"

"Ah... yes. I'm afraid I can't give you details over the phone without the patient's consent, but―"

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Please give me his room number." He hastily jotted down the numbers and letters the woman recited, gave a quick "thanks," and got dressed faster than he ever had on three hours of sleep. In under four minutes, he was in a half tucked in shirt and partially cuffed slacks and out the door.

 

* * *

 

He hesitated when the automatic doors of the entrance opened in front of him. He still hadn't sorted out how to deal with the situation, what to say to Sebastian if he would say anything at all, or if he should just stay out of the room all together and just speak with the doctors. He approached the front desk slowly, quickly flashing his badge. The delay between lifting his badge and securing it back to his belt reminded him of how tired he was, and he had to fight back a yawn.

"Detective Oda. I received a call about my partner, Sebastian Castellanos." The woman at the desk sifted through a pile of papers, had him sign in, and directed him to Sebastian's room with minimal speaking.

Joseph entered the room after a couple knocks, showed his badge to the nurse and froze as soon as he saw his partner. Seeming to take note of Joseph's apparent shock, the nurse spoke up.

"It's fine, he's just in and out of consciousness right now."

"What happened?"

"You're his partner, correct?" A nod and a small "yes". The nurse shook his head, sliding his chair away from Sebastian's bed. "Alcohol poisoning."

The tubes down Sebastian's throat and nose, the needle taped to his arm rushing fluids into him, his pale complexion ― it all clicked.

"You've got to be kidding me."

He should've seen it coming, and part of him _knew_ these two-weeks-and-five-days of sobriety weren't going to last. He might have even been able to excuse one beer. He knew Sebastian to be one to get shitfaced drunk ― though not firsthand, as he declined all Sebastian's offers to go out for a drink after work. Had Sebastian not had a glaring drinking problem that was the talk of the precinct, he would have gladly accepted. He liked Sebastian. He was a good man. A good man who made his bed in the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Even with the oxygen, his breathing seemed shallow.

"Mn... Myra...?"

Joseph immediately wanted to back out. He didn't want to see Sebastian relive accepting that Myra had disappeared, and didn't trust himself to word it in a way that wouldn't upset him at this point.

"... No, Seb. It's me."

Sebastian's brow furrowed in confusion before his eyes shot open, his mind processing _why isn't Myra here why is Joseph here what happened to Myra Myra is gone_ in half a second. His body relaxed ― or rather, gave up ― at the realization, and he closed his eyes.

"Here to lecture me?"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd take better care of yourself." He crossed his arms. "They saw my name and number in your notebook. There was no one else for them to call."

Sebastian mumbled something about how it would've been better had no one showed up at all as the nurse asked Sebastian a few questions about how he was feeling. Sebastian answered in as few words as possible, seeming to not be having any of this. He wanted to just go home and crawl into bed, and more than likely go right back to drinking.

His eyes closed for several minutes, seeming to fall asleep before slowly coming back to his senses. He turned his head to look at Joseph, who was shocked to see the emotion brimming in his eyes. He looked like he was crying out for help.

"You ever feel like jumping? When you're up on the tenth floor? Or jumping in front of the subway?"

Joseph was taken aback, and it took a second to snap him back and respond. "Seb, you're out of it right now."

"Like hell I am. I don't even need to be in the hospital," he grumbled, tugging at his hospital bracelet for emphasis.

"You don't? Why did you just get you stomach pumped? Why did you ask for Myra when you woke up?"

"Joseph, you say that again and I swear to God I will knock all your fuckin' teeth out."

"With your arm with an IV stuck in it? That one seems to have the best hook."

Sebastian tried, despite his weak state, to lunge out of the bed and out to Joseph with hands outstretched and teeth grit, as if to strangle him. Joseph didn't flinch, and the nurse managed to pull him back and force him to lay down, looking nervously from the vital monitor and back to Sebastian.

"Please, try not to mind him," the nurse pleaded, reattaching a few loose electrodes to Sebastian's chest as he glared at Joseph. With how tightly his fists were balled up, it looked like the IV could shoot out at any minute. "He should be back to normal soon enough."

"Oh, no. It seems he's already back to normal." The younger adjusted his glasses and tilted his chin up, looking down at Sebastian as the nurse was finally able to step back from his bed. Joseph wasn't one to stir up trouble, especially in such personal matters, but he was so fed up with Sebastian at this point. It seemed there was nothing that could knock any sense into the older detective ― not a report to IAB, not a risk of losing his job, not alcohol poisoning.

The nurse was called to check on another patient, and he hastily left after making sure all of Sebastian's vitals were stable after his outburst. As he passed Joseph, he whispered to him to call him back if there was another argument, which he gave a quick nod to.

When the door closed behind the nurse, Joseph turned his head back to the now completely conscious Sebastian.

"Do you have no self respect?" he hissed, sitting down in the chair at Sebastian's bedside.

"What the fuck are you going on about? This is my problem, not yours."

"It _is_ my problem, Sebastian."

His neck snapped to face Joseph directly. "What? Just 'cause I'm your partner? Yeah, right."

"Because you've been my partner and my friend for seven years," Joseph noted.

"Listen to yourself, you sound like a sentimental kid."

"I apologize for being the only one in your life who hasn't pushed you away, then. Believe it or not, I care about your well-being."

Sebastian scoffed, instinctively reaching for the pack of cigarettes he kept in his pocket, only to find a hospital gown. Fantastic.

After several beats of silence, Joseph's expression softened, and he spoke behind his palm and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I don't enjoy seeing you slowly kill yourself, Seb."

Drinking until he blacked out every night had been a big enough problem, but the underlying desire underneath it all was what worried Joseph the most. As he lost his enthusiasm for his work, he lost his enthusiasm for everything else in turn. He had no drive, he barely spoke at work ― and when he did, it was short and sharp ― and he had a perpetual look of defeat on his face. In Sebastian's mind, he had lost everything there was to live for. Someone could list everything he had left in his life, how important he was in other's lives, but it wouldn't reach him. Even if it did, he couldn't bring himself to see enough importance in it.

Joseph didn't know how to handle it, especially when Sebastian absolutely refused any help. He said he didn't want to think about it, despite thinking of it every waking moment of every day. Even reporting him to Internal Affairs could only do so much. He could limit his drinking, but Joseph couldn't get rid of the muck Sebastian's mind had to fight off just to get out of bed in the morning.

"... Did you really mean that earlier? About jumping?"

Sebastian sighed, stretching his neck and finding a more comfortable position. "That doesn't matter right now."

 _So that's a "yes," then_. Sebastian wasn't one for talking about issues of the heart, and there's no way in hell he'd ever admit to a weakness. His personality took a sharp swerve since the loss of Myra and Lily, but Joseph could still see a small part of the old Sebastian every now and then. That was what made it so hard ― all he wanted was to bring that Sebastian back, to pull him up and out of the sea of liquor and burden and depression he submerged himself in.

At Joseph's knowing silence, the older man gave a rough sigh, staring up at the blank white ceiling and mentally counting every indentation and solidified paint bubble. His partner had been the one constant in his life since the accident, and as much as he resented him for reporting him to Internal Affairs, he couldn't help but notice that Joseph never treated him differently after that. Sebastian was the only one whose behavior changed.

Whether it was the medication in his system, or his state of mind in the aftermath of having tubes and needles stuck everywhere, the one part of his mind that was currently making all judgement for him decided that Joseph deserved to have at least some sort of explanation.

"I can still hear her, Joseph. I hear her crying from inside the house. And then nothing. I heard the last breath to come out of her body and couldn't do anything but stand outside the house. Drinking's the only thing that makes it _stop_. And Myra..." He instinctively rubbed at his wedding band with his thumb, as he always did when she came up in conversation. "If I'm sober, all I think about are what-ifs. I'll never know where she is, what happened to her."

Joseph kept quiet, looking down at his hands. He recalled the day of the fire so vividly, but he knew the sorrow he felt paled in comparison to Sebastian's. He had rushed from his apartment in Riverside as fast as he could, finding Myra crumpled on the ground in hysterics and Sebastian staring at the ashes of the home devoid of any emotion. Sebastian wasn't good at conveying or sorting out emotions, so he knew he had been too shocked to feel anything. Joseph leaned down next to Myra, rubbing her back as he looked at the older man's stoic expression cracking. Tears began flowing, silently and uncontrollably, but his face remained stiff. When a firefighter came over to speak with Myra, Joseph began to approach him, but was cut off by Sebastian dropping his head to Joseph's shoulder. The tears immediately soaked straight through to his skin, and all he could do was rest his hands on the older man's shaking back. He knew nothing he said would even reach him at that point.

He loved that child so much. There was a glow around him ever since she had been born. Joseph knew exactly how rough and straightforward Sebastian's personality was, even back then, but when he was with Lily, he was more gentle than any man he'd ever seen. Once she was gone, his passion for life just faded. And once Myra disappeared, that passion had completely dried up.

Sebastian's drinking was so out of control after all of his losses, Joseph couldn't bring himself to turn a blind eye to it. He was going to actually drink himself to death. He remembered visiting Sebastian on his birthday by surprise, only to find him face down on the couch surrounded by empty bottles of whiskey. He needed to give Sebastian a wake-up call.

_"What the fuck is this!?" He slammed the IAB report file on Joseph's desk, looking him dead in the eye._

_"Sebastian..."_

_"I trusted you! And this is what you do!? I could have lost my damn job!"_

_"I did this so you_ wouldn't _. At this rate, you would be fired within a month. You won't accept help, so this was the only way to make you face it."_

_"Fuck you, Joseph."_

The Captain had forced Sebastian to take a few days off, compose himself before coming back to work with his partner. Still, things never seemed to completely return to normal between them ― that scar always remained as a permanent reminder.

Even now, he knew Sebastian would probably much rather Joseph not be in his room right now. But he knew Sebastian ― if he was alone, he only got worse. He needed someone to be a silent support, even if it was just their presence and not their words.

Joseph took a seat in the chair next to Sebastian's bedside, carefully resting his hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"I'm not saying you're ever going to go back to normal, or that one day you'll be completely free from all of the negativity you force on yourself now. But you're my partner. We have to look out for each other, and I want to help you fight this because I know that you _can_." He gripped his shoulder a bit tighter for a moment, forcing his attention. "I'm not going to leave."

The faint, dry smile on Sebastian's lips was enough for him. It was better than nothing at all. He gave Joseph's shoulder a pat in return, closing his eyes.

"You're a good guy, Joseph. Even if I fuckin' hate you right now, you're a good guy."

 

* * *

 

"Looks like you're staying at my place tonight," Joseph began, setting down a bag of clean clothes for Sebastian to change into. "They want someone to keep an eye on you, but it seems you're lucky enough to be discharged tonight."

"Been a while since I've been to your place."

And it really had. Ever since the IAB incident, Sebastian hadn't talked to Joseph anymore than necessary, let alone visit him at his apartment. Joseph pulled the curtain back and stood outside until Sebastian was finished changing. After a handful of papers to fill out for the both of them and a multitude of signatures, Joseph was guiding Sebastian to his car for a quiet drive back to Riverside.

 

* * *

 

Once at the door to his apartment, Joseph gave a sheepish smile as he fished out his keys.

"I wasn't expecting anyone, so it's kind of messy." But Sebastian only shrugged in response, seemingly used to the constant state of disorder his own house is in.

The apartment was plain, decorated sparsely with little other than necessities. True, there were some clothes on the floor, a dirty frying pan and a few dishes in the sink, but other than that, it seemed clean enough to Sebastian. As Sebastian examined the apartment from his location, Joseph fetched a few blankets and a pillow, setting them down on the couch.

"You might not even be able to get any sleep at this point, but if you want, you can use the couch."

"Before that," Sebastian interjected. "You got any cigarettes?"

 

* * *

 

Joseph wasn't much of a smoker, despite having a pack and a lighter in his kitchen drawer. They were there mainly for Sebastian when he used to visit. It was nostalgic in the most bitter way possible.

They stood together on the small balcony, clouds of smoke billowing from the both of them. Joseph had already taken away one of Sebastian's vices, he could at least let him indulge in one. A good fifteen minutes of silenced passed between them, looking up at the would-be starry sky had it not been for the pollution, and listening as cars honked and screeched beneath them. It wasn't beautiful or desirable, but it was reality, and it was what Sebastian needed.

After taking the first drag of his second cigarette, Sebastian let out a hoarse cough, then looked out at the run down buildings and listened to the continuous sirens as if it were nirvana.

"Hey, Joseph?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember... when you used to babysit Lily?"

Joseph didn't turn to face him immediately. The words felt like a punch in the gut, and he knew how much it hurt Sebastian to think about her. "... Yeah. And she'd tell me how great her dad was until you came back home."

He gave a forced chuckle, taking a moment to study the cigarette between his fingers. "Myra liked you, too. Said you'd balance me out." He took a long, long drag, as if it would help in some way. "Guess she was right."

There were any number of things Joseph could have said. He could have joined in the reminiscing, reminded him Myra might still be alive somewhere, or that Lily was in a better place, but it all risked a negative reaction. Instead, he opted for silence, knowing it was something Sebastian never seemed to mind.

Joseph flicked the butt of his cigarette off the balcony and watched the ember fall onto the street below, running his thumb across the back of Sebastian's hand. Sebastian didn't pull away.

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually a gift for some loser. hello loser
> 
> i love joseb i love joseb i love joseb
> 
> any feedback is appreciated!


End file.
